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dyingswanpavlova · 4 hours ago

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Happier than ever

Part 1

Pairing: Nam-gyu × Reader × The Salesman

Warnings: Drug Usage, Overdose, Death, Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Manipulation, Suicide, Mentions of Sexual Activities, Mentions of Rape, Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Anger Issues, Depression, Long Backstory, Minors do not interact!

Nam-gyu and you were a couple for the last eight years. But after you decide you had enough of his anger issues, you leave him and try to be happy on your own. Oh, how naïve you are.

Author's note: Okay, everyone.😩 I know you're waiting for the next part of "Your girl" and trust me, I am, too! I'm sorry that I haven't come up with it yet, but I needed to get my mind off of it for a moment, because I don't want to just write anything and publish it like that - the story means too much to me. I can't publish it unless I'm happy with it, but I promise you, I'm working on it. Until then, I started to furiously hit the key board and this happened. Whatever this is, it is Part 1 of it and I'm doing a Part 2, I just don't know when yet. I love you! 🤍 Lana

Loving Nam-gyu wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world.

In fact, it was almost impossible on most days.

But there was a part of you, a thing, a quiet voice – something that needed to be reassured, that felt like maybe you were the problem.

There had been good days, hadn’t there? Your birthday and the way he woke you up with pancakes every year. Of course they turned out horrible and were barely edible. They were raw on the inside and somehow, he still managed to burn them. But he made them for you. The memory still made you smile, despite everything.

Then there was the day you had your big ballet performance. You had spent so many months rehearsing, trying to be perfect. You went all Natalie Portman on that performance. Since the moment you’d been told you got to play Odette, you were fire and flame, spending every waking moment trying to be everything you pictured in your head. It was hard, very hard even. But you had the great hope that, if maybe you did well enough, they would come.

Your family would come and watch. They’d finally show you that they did indeed love you, that you weren’t just a burden or an accident. They would come and they would be proud of you. Your father would set his work phone down, your mother her pills. They would be there. For you.

But of course, they didn’t. You should have known better. It was your own fault, hoping and praying for something that was never going to happen. You should have known.

And still, the moment the curtain lifted and you glanced along the rows and rows of people, you felt disappointed. But you didn’t feel disappointed like normal people would, no. It was you after all. You felt devastated. You felt all of your creativity leave your mind. Your body slowly forgot the choreography. Your eyes glistened with tears. And your life was over.

You had your own issues. He had his anger. You had your world endings.

That was until the door flew open after everyone was already seated, waiting for the show to begin. A few heads turned and your gaze quickly flashed towards the now open door, revealing the face of the mysterious newcomer. He was out of breath and his hair was a mess, his cheeks glowing red and the look in his eyes pleading.

It was Nam-gyu.

You had just had the greatest argument of your life so far, throwing around dishes and screaming your lungs out at each other. Not even twelve hours had passed since then, so you were more than sure that he wouldn’t come. After all, he was the least reliable person you knew, alongside your family. And that fight had been particularly bad. You actually didn’t expect to ever see him again.

But there he was, his appearance disheveled and his eyes pleading with you. Pleading with you to forgive him, pleading with you to dance.

Dance.

You remembered the way you felt. The way your disappointment suddenly turned into something different, something hopeful and warm.

Something good.

He was good.

He was yours.

And you were his.

In that moment, there was nothing else. Everything around you faded into a dark cloud and all you could focus on was him and the way he stood in the middle of the audience, staring up at you. The world was quiet and everything smelled like flowers. The perfection you were striving for was suddenly there and it had nothing to do with your performance.

It was a slow dance, slow and sensual, between your souls.

Until suddenly the music started and your body remembered the movements again.

And you were indeed perfect.

Unfortunately though it wasn’t always like that. Most of the time, he was simply complicated. When he wasn’t drugged out of his mind, he was angry. Not at all the time – but easily. All you had to do was say the wrong thing and he’d explode. And you’d explode right back, right into his face.

“I fucking hate you!”

“Shut the fuck up, you dumb slut!”

“Who are you calling a slut?! You son a bitch!”

“Say that again!”

It always ended the same way. You sobbing on the floor, him slamming the door shut and disappearing. That were the good fights.

The bad ones were different. You couldn’t count the times you had been forced to take shelter in the bathroom, quickly locking the door, too afraid to let him even close to you. Of course you knew how to fight back. You didn’t let him get away with slapping you, oh no, you kneed him right in the balls so he’d know better not to fuck with you. He’d normally collapse and the fight would be over. But sometimes, on especially bad days, he got that look on him.

It wasn’t careful or hesitant. No, it was murderous and terrifying. You always knew there was something dangerous about him. That was probably what drew you in at first. But this…It was different. When he got that look, when the drugs clouded his mind like that, you were truly afraid of what he might do. And so you locked yourself in and listened to the way he pounded against the door, ready to break it down. So far, he hadn’t. A part of him was still in there, even when got like that.

But you didn’t want to push your luck.

After eight years of up and down, back and forth and through the gates of Hell, you finally left him for good. At first he probably didn’t believe it. After all, you had pulled the leaving card a million times before. But somehow you always ended up back in his bed, with him fucking your brains out and calling it making up.

But this time, you meant it. It had been a pretty normal Tuesday. You were at work, waiting tables and cleaning up after your mindless customers. It wasn’t the best job in the world, but it paid the bills – albeit, barely.

After your father left and married a woman hardly any older than you and you found your mother on the bathroom floor, cold and stiff, her eyes wide and her chin and hair covered in foam and puke, you decided couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t be that anymore.

You moved in with Nam-gyu. It started off well at first. He was as cute as ever, when he was sober. Sure, you had fights already, but they were mostly trivial. Yelling was involved, throwing furniture around as well, but he never got violent with you so far.

He found a job, as did you and you paid your apartment together. It was tiny of course, but it was enough. You bought groceries and washed laundry. You even had some spare money to buy furniture and decorations. It wasn’t much, but it was yours. You did everything the way you always pictured it.

You had been with Nam-gyu since you turned seventeen. You met back in school and immediately fell in love with him. He had been so sweet. Acting overly confident and arrogant, of course, but it was just a front which you immediately realized. Under all that he was actually rather silly. He made you laugh without even trying. Even he seemed surprised by how good you two matched. So far he’d been going through life, acting like everyone was beneath him. But in reality, he wasn’t popular. He was a bully. He was mean, with a cruel streak. But never to you. No, when someone dared to speak up their mind against you, he was there, ready to break their jaw. You formed a friendship of sort. He was protective and extremely possessive, while you were caring. His family was a bunch of assholes, just like yours was and neither of you had any real friends.

Most of your friends were other dancers and neither of those were really sentimental. Sure, it was enough to go out for a salad sometimes, but you really weren’t one for bulimia and cigarettes. Most of them were, unfortunately.

You loved food. You loved to eat and you appreciated every bite. You’d grown up rather lonely on your own, praying every night for a sibling or a real friend. Someone you could talk to, about real problems. Your ballet friends though? Whenever they asked you how you felt, they didn’t actually want to know. They were just being polite.

Nam-gyu was just as lonely, though he wouldn’t have ever admitted it. He had friends, who were to no one’s surprise, also a bunch of assholes. Some of them were just bullies, others were straight-up rapists.

“What do you mean, you changed your mind? Are you dumb? Shut the fuck up and take it. You agreed to this!”

Nam-gyu wasn’t. It was another thing he wouldn’t have admitted to out loud, but the thought of fucking someone while they were out of it was something he wasn’t after. A thing that really turned him on was to see the pleasure on the other person’s face. The moans, the sighs. He wouldn’t get that if he just made them take it. And so he didn’t. But he tried to keep a straight face, when his friends shared their immoral stories of last weekend. He tried to laugh, when they spoke about the way the girls curled up in self-hatred after they left them there, their cum leaking out of them.

That was until one of the girls ended up killing herself.

She had been super sad and melancholic for as long anyone could remember. She was rather quiet and no-one really spoke to her. She wasn’t weird or anything, just really shy. That was enough to get bullied. She was an obvious virgin and rather closed-off. A good challenge. A great bet.

So, one of his friends placed a bet with the others. Fuck the girl.

“No way that weirdo is letting you anywhere close to her.”

And she didn’t, at first. She didn’t trust anyone around, because people normally made fun of her. But that guy, who went by Nic, was a real good actor. He didn’t walk up to her and just made advances. No, he played shy around her. Sweet. Funny. He managed to tickle a smile out of her. A laugh. And he didn’t just do it once. He did it for days. Weeks. Two months. He played her boyfriend. Her sweet, shy boyfriend. Until her front slowly crumbled and she fell in love with him. Deeply. So much that she actually decided to give Nic her first.

According to Nic it had been nothing out of the ordinary, but Nam-gyu knew it was more than that. He could read the people around him fairly well, and he could also see the way Nic’s pupils dilated, the way his heart skipped a beat, whenever his sweet, little girlfriend was around.

But his friends, his friends, they were constantly at his back.

“Did you finally fuck her?”

“Did you stretch that weird little cunt, huh?”

“Don’t tell me you’re falling for that Wednesday Addams bitch.”

Nic had a reputation to uphold. And so he did what he deemed necessary. He had sex with her and then he dumped her. But not like any normal person would. No, he made fun of her in the worst ways and ended up sending her nudes to anyone who was interested.

The same nudes he had begged her to send him, to trust him, for only his eyes.

And the next day, the gruesome news were heard over speaker.

She was dead. Jumped off her apartment building, right into her death.

Nic had a mental breakdown. No-one else from his group really cared. No-one except for Nam-gyu. Nam-gyu spent the rest of the day in his car, staring down at the steering wheel and trying not to throw up.

You had heard the news of course and you were devastated. You hadn’t known the girl, but you had never been mean to her. You actually remembered a few interactions you had. You knew there had been something going on between her and Nam-gyu’s friend. But naïve, little you had had the hope that it wasn’t a trick. How stupid you had been.

You spent the rest of the day looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Right when you already thought maybe he wasn’t at school at all, you saw his car. He was inside and God, he looked horrible. With red-rimmed eyes and shaking hands, all day. You tried your best to comfort him, but it was futile. He felt guilty. Someone was dead. And maybe, just maybe, if he had intervened in time…

You tried to make him understand that it wasn’t his fault, not entirely. He never spoke to his friends again.

You’d later find out, that was the day he took his first injection. So far all he had been doing were mushrooms and weed, but Hell, who hadn’t?

You spent more and more time together, because he firmly ignored everyone who was so damn fucked in the head. He was trying to be good, he was trying so hard. Life hadn’t been easy on him, not at all, but he still tried.

A month later, you had your first kiss. Another three days later you had sex. It was your first time and he was being surprisingly gentle and considerate. You loved thinking back to it, because you didn’t regret it at all. No matter what else happened between you afterwards, you could never regret giving your virginity to him, because it meant so much to you. And it seemed to mean even more to him.

Two years later, it was safe to say you were made for each other. Even long after being out of school, you were still a couple. He still got these angry outbursts sometimes, but you tried to understand him. He had grown up, feeling unseen and unloved by anyone. As did you. You weren’t angry per say. But you got angry, when he did. You had these desperate mood swing. And whenever something didn’t go your way, you felt like the world was ending. You felt everything intensely.

Love was great. It was all-consuming. You loved him in the same way he did. You adored him. Anger was different. It felt suffocating. Sadness wasn’t sadness, but depression. And despair was enough to nearly kill you.

You tried going to university, but that didn’t work out, because your father left and so you had no chance to pay the tuition. Nam-gyu never even bothered to try, because he knew he would fail anyway, but he tried whatever he could to make your dream work. You wanted to work with animals, heal them, help them, do whatever you could to make someone’s life better. But despite all your – and his – efforts, it didn’t work out. It was simply too much. He was heartbroken when you were forced to leave school, because of your selfish prick of a father. But it was alright.

You’d find another job. You could still make it in life, even without university. Everything was good.

That was, until you couldn’t afford your dance practice any longer.

That was heartbreaking.

One day, you came home after a long day of playing cashier, only to find your mother had stolen all the money you had saved so far. She took it to buy pills or whatever else. You couldn’t even be mad at her, because she lay passed out in the doorway to her room.

You had no money. And all your dreams were dead.

By the time that happened you were far into twenty-one, so you knew that life was cruel and you turned more and more bitter.

Nam-gyu was simply angry, but there was not much he could do. His parents threw him out at nineteen, so he had been paying his own rent since then. He tried speculating with cryptocurrency, but that didn’t work out. He played it down, but you knew he lost quite the amount of his own savings.

A year later your mother died and you finally moved in together. So far you hadn’t been able to leave her on her own, but now that she was gone, you couldn’t stand to live in the same place where she had died. The cemetery of what could have been. Countless dour memories, not a single one good.

You had never had a particularly good relationship, but she was your mother nonetheless. The sight of her dead body and horrified face, it haunted you in your sleep. You spent more than one night, waking up screaming, sweating and clutching the linens. Luckily, Nam-gyu was there to catch you, before you ever managed to fall into the deep pit that was your mind.

He managed to calm you down somehow, every time. He was perfect. The perfect boyfriend.

Until he wasn’t.

You hated when he did drugs, especially so after what had happened to your mother. And so he said he wouldn’t, but it was obviously just to pacify you. You always noticed when he did it nonetheless, you knew the dazed look in his eyes, the paleness of his skin. Whenever he refused a meal, it was obvious to you. Normally, he’d choke down everything you cooked like a starved animal, but there were days when he picked at his food and that was always the first indication.

His short responses, his temper, suddenly so easily flared. It didn’t take long for your first real argument to break out. It was fine, up until the point when you saw his hand twitch. Obviously, you shot him a murderous look, daring him. If he dared to hit you, you’d break his fucking jaw.

And he refrained. For then.

Things went mostly normal, until the next fight. That time he wasn’t so gentle. Things got out of hand and he pushed you against the wall, smashing your head against it in the process. For a moment, you were simply stunned – and even he seemed to be. He stopped before he could cause any greater damage.

Things went between good and bad, it was a constant battle for dominance. One day was good, the next day horrible. You couldn’t even look at him without earning a harsh comment. You’d ignore him firmly for the rest of the day and eventually he’d come crawling back, begging you to let him back inside the bedroom. He didn’t mind the couch, he just missed you. And somehow you always forgave him, far too easily. Sometimes he did change for a while. Surprised you with flowers or his sad attempts at cooking. Every time he messed up a scrambled egg, you couldn’t help but get weak. He was so silly, it was endearing. Yet at the same time, you knew there was something dark within him. Most likely the drugs, but you could never tell for sure.

Maybe this was just who he was.

Things got better and worse again, until one night, he snapped. You had a fight about one of your co-workers, who he considered a threat. You never understood it, because to you it was so obvious that you never wanted anyone else. Despite your problems, you stayed fiercely loyal to him. You loved Nam-gyu. And a part of you still believed that in the end, things would turn out good. Maybe they would, right?

But that night was bad. He got so furious and when he yelled at you, the walls seemed to shake. You were normally so eager to fight back, so strong, but that day something was different. You were on your period and just a few hours earlier, you had met a dance friend of yours. She told you, she was sure that, if you had stayed, you’d be famous by now. But she wasn’t kind about it. She was subtly looking down at you, shaming you for the way your life had turned out. It made a tight knot form in your stomach and you felt your resolve slowly crumble. All you wanted was to cry, but even that didn’t work, because you came home to a furious Nam-gyu.

Your shoulders slumped and you refused to look at him, which only ever made him angrier.

You didn’t see the slap coming, but once it happened, you couldn’t forget it. Couldn’t forget the anger and the disappointment that welled up in you. When you looked up at him, you expected the tiniest bit of regret or guilt, but there was nothing. He was too deep in his bubble of anger and substance, to see clearly. He got more and more furious and you knew; if you didn’t hide then, he’d do something worse. It was the first night you hid yourself away in the bathroom, one of many to follow. You always told yourself it were the drugs. He was so sweet when he was sober, so gentle and loving. You kept telling yourself, things would be good one day. They would turn out well. With time and patience.

Until you snapped.

You were at work, staring off into the distance. You had been out of it all day, because you spent the previous night locked in the bathroom, until he finally passed out around four in the morning. You snuck out and made your way to your workplace, where you opened more than three hours early. You had nowhere else to go. No family, no friends, no one. Only you and your pain. All day you spent trying to cover the dark marks on your wrists, but no one seemed to care anyway. People went about their own lives and problems and you were just their co-worker, their waitress.

You stood silently, watching an elderly couple whose order you had just taken. They were so sweet, like they came right out of a movie. He held the door open for her and pulled her chair back. He caressed her cheek and she never flinched when he reached out his hand for her. They smiled at each other with such a tenderness, it brought tears to your eyes. That was the exact moment. That was the moment you realized you didn’t want to continue on living like this.

You wanted more. You deserved more.

You made your way back and gathered most of your things while he was still at work. Of course it wasn’t the most intelligent approach, but it was all you could do. You knew, the moment you sat down and tried to explain to him that you were going to leave him, he’d find a way to convince you to stay. It had been eight years, after all. Eight years on and off, eight years up and down. Drugs, violence, lies – at least he never cheated on you.

You’d keep that in tender memory of him. As well as the countless times he had comforted and fought for you. All the times he made you laugh, all the times he made you feel loved. The greatest sex you would ever have, no doubt.

But you still packed your things and left like a ghost. After eight years.

He tried to contact you of course, the moment he came home. But you took your paycheck and went to a motel. Whenever he tried to find you at work, you hid in the kitchen. Your co-workers tried to calm him down, to tell him that you didn’t work there any longer, but he saw through the lie. He got loud and furious, which you could kind of understand. You stayed in the kitchen, crying to yourself and feeling incredibly guilty, but you didn’t ever come out.

He kept coming, but it got less and less frequent. From what your co-workers told you, he seemed less and less like himself. The thought broke your heart and nearly made you go back.

You were constantly in your head, making more and more mistakes at work, until your boss’s patience finally snapped. When you messed up the third customers giant bill, he fired you. You instantly panicked, because you were sure, now you had to go back.

You even drove around in your car, trying to get a glimpse of him in the apartment. But to your horror, you didn’t see Nam-gyu in the window. It were other people, some couple actually. And when you tried to call him, the number wasn’t available. Suddenly, he was a ghost and you were knee deep in horse shit.

It didn’t take long for your money to go and so you ended up panicking. You had to leave the motel soon and if you didn’t get a job – you’d end up homeless. Which was as good as dead.

A few days later, after you realized that you seemed to have no special talents and that no one really cared to hire you, you sat at the metro station. You had only one option left or so you thought. Le girls girls girls. You were a dancer. You were graceful. You were too good for this.

But it was all you could do. After all, the girls didn’t have to indulge in any immoral transactions. They were just dancing, right? Fine, in light clothing, but still dancing. You could do that.

You were deep in thought, your eyes closed and your head leaned against the wall behind you, when you heard someone’s voice.

“Care for a game of Ddakji?”

This was when your life took a dark turn.

You eyed the handsome stranger with suspicion. It was super odd. A man going down the path of middle age, slicked-back hair, wearing a suit and a briefcase on him.

And he was asking you to play a game with him?

You frowned and glanced around.

“I don’t know what you want, but you won’t get it from me.”

He smirked and tilted his head to the side innocently.

“I don’t want anything. Just a little game. That’s all. You got something to win here. I got money.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I’m not a fucking hooker.”

He smiled again, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “And I told you, all I want is to play a game. Are you scared?”

That made you bristle. You knew the game and you fucking hated it. You were fairly good at playing at, but you didn’t care for this idiot’s audacity. You were about to snap at him again, when you caught sight of the money. Your eyes widened and you sank back against the wall.

“I don’t have any money.” You murmured back.

“Don’t worry. You can pay with your body.”

Your head shot up and you were ready to lunge at him, but he held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I have no intention of fucking you.” He said calmly. “So, I’ll ask again. Are you scared?”

You crossed your arms and got up, giving him a dirty look.

“Get to it, son of a bitch.”

Your eyes fluttered open slowly. You had trouble adjusting your sight to the unnatural, neon light. The smell was odd, somewhat disinfectant. Something was really wrong.

You slowly stretched and turned your head, only to see you weren’t alone. That was enough to nearly make you shriek. You sat up quickly enough to get dizzy. Next to your own bunk was a woman who stared at you through her cat-eyes. She smirked devilishly as she lay on her side.

“Your fate is sealed. There’s no way you can dance your way out of this.”

You tried to ignore the way your heart raced in your chest. This had to be some freakish co-incidence. You took your gaze off her, only to realize you weren’t alone. Countless people surrounded you, some of them awake, others still asleep. They all wore the same green tracksuit, just as you did.

You took a shaky breath and carefully swung your legs over the bed, heading for the ladder.

What, in God’s name, was this? And why did you agree to it?

You only remembered how ashamed you felt and how good the prospect sounded of not having to dance half-naked for strange men.

But was this really better?

You glanced around in the hope of…Of what? The situation was far too fucked up.

The fact that they got you here unconsciously, getting you dressed…

You wanted to throw up. You stumbled through the great hall, hoping to get some answers to your questions, but that hope quickly got crushed.

These were the real strange men. Dressed in pink suits, wearing masks which covered all of their faces and even their voices weren’t their own. Whatever this was, it wasn’t a fun game, you suddenly realized.

That Ddakji playing motherfucker had deceived you.

You lost the first round, which resulted in him slapping you. And that slap, which hadn’t really been a gentle one, awakened some kind of beast in you. You didn’t know what it was, maybe the memory of getting slapped and hunted down your own apartment on a regular basis. Whatever it was, you didn’t lose another round. He gave you money and money and money. But you didn’t want his fucking money. You wanted revenge.

You kept winning, because nothing else was possible. And by the end of the game, he smiled at you while he handed you the damned card.

But right before he turned crawled back into the pit of Hell where he had come from, you called out to him.

“Hey, motherfucker.”

He cocked a brow and regarded you with amusement. “Are you still mad about that tiny, little hit? Come on, you took it like a champ.”

“Then you should, too.” You slapped him with an intensity, you didn’t think you’d ever possess.

He looked at you like a statue, obviously ready to lunge at and murder you. But he hid his murderous intent behind a well-rehearsed smile.

“That one was free.” He said calmly. “And if I ever do see you again, I want a return match.”

He left and you were left with the card.

And there you were now. This wasn’t some childish game of Ddakji.

No one showed their face. You knew what that meant. Something was wrong – and you were in trouble.

You were about to leave the hall and take part in the first game, following after the others. You wouldn’t even have noticed, had you not bumped into him full-force.

When you pulled back your head, ready to apologize, you froze.

There he was. Your Nam-gyu. Staring back at you with wide eyes, behind them a mixture of something akin to surprise and fury.

“What the fuck?” He hissed.

He rushed forward and grabbed your by the shoulders, backing you up against the wall. Your eyes widened and you tried to push him back, but he was driven by something far stronger than both of you.

“Nam-gyu?” You breathed out.

He frowned deeply and stared at you incredulously.

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

“I didn’t-“

“Oh my God, I’m going to kill you.” He growled. “Where were you? What’s going on with you? Are you fucking-“

“Is there a problem here?” At first, you didn’t see the guy behind him with his ridiculous hairstyle and pouty lips. Immediately, you hated the sight of him.

“Fuck, she’s my-“

The purple-haired guy gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Whatever, man. We should get going, huh? We’ll be late for the game.”

He eyed you in an odd way, but you pushed it down and used the moment to free yourself from Nam-gyu’s grip and run out, rushing after the others and hiding in the crowd. He attempted to follow you and even called out to you, but you were already gone.

Fuck, you thought.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

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doctorguilty · 2 days ago

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Hiiii so I wrote this ask and I'm really happy it was well received and I enjoy the chain of additions that are all very thoughtful, you guys understood the assignment 💖 It just goes to show that there are plenty of interesting ways to explore the intersection of the Doormans' trauma with what we could consider a vampire species, and positively welcoming one into their family.

Regardless of what N had done in the past while being manipulated and used, his conscious, deliberate choices are what led to the Doormans getting to be a family again at all. Without him being by Uzi's side, there wouldn't even be a world left for any of them. He fought for it as much as she did. I simply cannot see Khan or Nori downplaying or denying that, no matter how much trauma still impacts them.

Besides... from the moment Nori and N met, they had a very fun and interesting dynamic. N respected her as Uzi's mom immediately, and outright wanted them reunited with each other. And on the flipside, Nori didn't seem to have any reservations about entrusting N with the USB. Even if her first impression of him was a bit rough (dumb murder pet), if she'd seen him as nothing but a monster, I don't think she would have handed over the one item she painstakingly searched for meant to save her daughter. Whatever N told her about his journey with Uzi (off screen), Nori clearly had enough faith in him to trust him. I can't see her opinion of him becoming /worse/ after he fights to save the world.

Anyway, on a different note, here's something silly I like:

One of my least favorite post-series fan things people make is depicting Nori and/or Khan as mean and hateful towards N, and chastising Uzi for dating him. It does Nori and Khan SO DIRTY, undermining their character growths, and core positive themes in the story about change and overcoming trauma. Uzi has rightfully earned her happiness, and N more than proved himself to be worthy of sharing happiness with Uzi. Why would Nori--after thinking she ruined Uzi's life so bad she'd be better off without her--come back into Uzi's life now just to try to ruin it again? What a cruel way to characterize Nori. She deserves way better.

⠀

#long post #md #im hestiant sharing my thoughts openly and stuff like this hence the anon ask #but I'll give it a shot #like im not rly a fandom hot takes person my ask was defs a vent I'm so much more into positve discussion #which is what's going on here #I ALSO rly love nori and it's bot every day i have nothing but good things to say abt a characters parent #so like seeing her watered down in such a negative light is so like nooooooooooo bites you #*not

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respectthepetty · 2 days ago

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At one of the nearby-ish universities, researchers can use the lab that attaches those little pads to people's heads and see their brains light up (the sign-up list is loooong), and I always think my brain would look like fireworks going off while I watch color-coded boys fall in love because once Black Brooder Yotha said that Green Guy Gun was his boyfriend to his Blue Boy brother and Gun's Blue Boy best friend in Perfect 10 Liners' sixteenth episode, I'm sure my brain stayed lit!

Even when I saw Yellow Yal Arm and Red Rascal Arc not in their colors, my brain wanted to shut off right here, but I think Arc's shirt has yellow highlight over the text (for his man), and every time I see that Manchester United poster, -I- see red from my rage, so I guess I'll make the colors happen with or without the show giving them to me.

But Sam makes up for it since he has consistently been a Red Rascal in the second portion of the show, always popping up to talk shit and bounce, and it appears Arm is wearing a light yellow, so my brain is, once again, lighting up!

However, I wish we would have gotten more of the other color-coded friends since we don't get enough Orange Oddities (Book) or Pink People (Franc) in BLs. But I know every story is going to have the Blue Boys (Kong AND FAIFA!!!!)

I won't be too mad at it though because, as I've mentioned every single week, this show's color coding is just so damn good, so my brain is always lighting up. Like these are the exact faces a jovial Green Guy and a mean Black Brooder would make. Perfect faces. Perfect colors. Perfect 10 Liners.

Even Faifa's rage is perfect!

Because even though Faifa's dark blue shirt is telling him to "Seize" the day and "Just trust yourself then you will know how to live," as a sign of the dark Blue Boy coming his way, he can't see his own happy ending when he is listening to Gun say stupid shit like "Love makes you tiny." I'd also be plotting murder if I was him.

COLOR-CODED BOYS IN LOVE ARE DISGUSTING(LY ADORABLE)!

Random: Someone at GMMTV likes puppy play because every single show has some aspect of it, so good for that person getting everything they wanted!

Because I got matching birthday ties! So Yotha got matching binary tattoos with Wa, but he has matching bracelets and ties with his current boyfriend cementing that Yotha is an emo who likes sentimental gifts.

Emo Black Brooders in love are the best!

I'm not going to get over that there was a whole ass Pink Person and Orange Oddity in this portion of Color-Coded Boys The Series, and I know minimal information about them.

But thank goodness I know everything about these two yin yang colored boys!

Because they are meant for each other. They are toxic AND in love!

They fight just so they can have make-up sex.

Good for those beautiful bastards!

That could never be these two color-coded boys though.

Gun doesn't understand anger or foregoing sleep in favor of sex unlike these other color-coded boys.

Good for him!

And the more light Blue Boy Faifa cries about not having someone, the more I scream that he is about to meet his match in dark Blue Boy Wine. Newton is going to hate BOTH his brothers.

Now Yotha and Gun are putting on matching pajamas just to take them off the way God and Arm intended.

Have I mentioned how happy my brain is about color-coded boys in love? Because I'm very happy about color-coded boys in love being there for each other when they have to deal with big emotions.

Even more so when they are color-coded brothers who yell at each other that "You're too pessimistic" and " You're too optimistic" since the colors only emphasize those points!

Newton remains neutral, the dad is blue, and the mom is pink. This is Heterosexuality 101, which is why Yotha and Faifa do not comprehend it.

Yes! Keep saying this Gun! Keep reminding me that the people who worked behind the scenes on this show deserve a raise! Keep saying you bring light to this Black Brooder's dark world!

Because your shirt will explicitly state it later ("Sunshine on my Mind")

All is right in the world. Everyone is in the color, and Yotha got jokes.

AND ARM AND ARC ARE FINALLY IN THEIR COLORS TOO!

Thank God for small miracles and color-coded boys in love.

NOW BRING ME MY LAPIS LADS!

#perfect 10 liners #color coded boys in love #the colors mean things #my brain is so happy #it always is when colors are involved #episode sixteen #this show's color coding is elite #and so is its shirt game #now bring me two boys who are the same color but different hues!#I'M SO EXCITED!

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seokminfilm · 2 days ago

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all i want ♫ lee seokmin

♫ pairing, lee seokmin x reader ♫ warnings, non-idol au, rock band au, lead guitarist seokmin, angst, hurt/comfort, secret relationship, kissing ♫ synopsis, seeing your boyfriend on stage just made you want to scream to the world that he was yours.

♫ author's note, angst back to back two times in a row?? god what is going on with me 😭 trust me though this one does have comfort!! saw a instagram reel of seokmin shredding on an electric guitar and it just reminded me that he was in a rock band while in middle school so......this had to happen tbh it's been on repeat in my head all day 😞 anyways enjoy!!

♫ now playing, paranoid (xdinary heroes)

♫ word count, 1.1k | for @kstrucknet

as the venue cleared out after another successful show, you sat at the back of the cafe, face wet with tears as you hid your face from people passing by.

you should be happy right now, you know it: your friends had finally gotten their first big venue tonight, and the crowd loved them. heck, you loved the music they were playing, and you weren't even a big rock fan. you should be jumping with joy and ready to tackle them all with a big hug or high five, but you couldn't bring yourself to even smile.

the eery quietness of the venue did nothing to soothe your churning stomach, and it only made it ten times worse when you heard that familiar voice calling for you.

seokmin was hurrying over to you, still dressed in all black from the concert. his makeup hadn't been taken off yet, and he was still slightly sweaty, face covered in a sparkling sheen as he caught his breath. it still shocked you how pretty seokmin could be after 2 hours of jumping around on a stuffy stage like this.

"hey, i was looking everywhere for you," seokmin sighs, presence now hovering over you as you keep your eyes away from his. you knew if you stared, you'd break, all the tears you'd been holding back finally ready to flow.

"are you ready to go home? i just told everyone i'd take off my makeup and stuff at home. i'm so hungry right now, i could eat literally anything." seokmin laughs lightly, and you still can't bear to look up at him, trying not to let him see your face as you hold your breath.

"baby? hey, are you okay?" seokmin must catch onto your silent treatment quickly, slender, string-ridden hands cupping your wet face as he turns it to face him. once he sees your reddened eyes and flushed face, his eyes widen, dropping to the ground in front of you as he frowns.

"baby, why are you crying? what's wrong?" seokmin's voice is worried, stressed tone apparent as he searches your eyes. you can't bring yourself to speak, shaking your head as seokmin sighs.

"let's go outside, okay? get you some fresh air?" seokmin asks softly, and you nod, letting him stand to his full height and take you by the hand as he leads you outside. the street is quiet now, save for the breeze of cars in the distance and chatter from people walking up and down the sidewalk.

seokmin's hand is still holding yours, leading you down the sidewalk as he sticks his hand in his pocket. he looks ahead, obviously trying not to pressure you to speak, although you can tell he really wants to know what's wrong. he was just considerate like that, letting you take your time when you wanted to tell him things.

the two of you veer into a little park just a few blocks away from the venue, swings barren of children as it's almost ten p.m. it's refreshing, the spring breeze a respite as you and seokmin sit on a bench, finally able to be close to each other without the looks of his band members or your friends.

you and seokmin had been in a secret relationship for almost a month; seokmin and his band members were finally growing in popularity now, and their manager had realized it too, quickly banning many things to keep their band's image clean, one of them including dating.

thankfully, you two were already dating before that ban happened, and seokmin had sworn that he wouldn't let that ban stop him from loving you. you believed him, too, every word of it─it was just so hard pretending like you didn't love him.

you couldn't give him a quick kiss in the dressing room like you used to do without the fear of getting caught, and lord forbid you had tried to hold his hand while leaving venues─people always had a way of seeing things, even if you thought you were being the most secretive you could be.

"is this better for you, baby? does the air feel good?" seokmin asks, breaking the silence you had been comfortable in. you nod slightly, sniffling from the leftover tears as you let the wind beat your face.

seokmin's eyes are trained on your figure, studying your reddened eyes and quivering lips as he turns to face you.

"could you tell me why you were crying? i was really worried about you. i just came from the dressing room and you had tears on your face. did something happen while i was gone?" seokmin presses, eyes worried and face blushed as he holds your hands.

"no, no seokmin, i just─" your voice threatens to break, and you turn away quickly, willing any tears trying to fall to disappear. "i just want you. i want us to be a real thing."

seokmin falters just a bit, eyes falling as he stares at your sad, tear-stained expression. he knows what you're referring to─you've been telling him your desire to make your relationship known to the public every night before you would go to sleep, and he got choked up every time you would dream about the future the two of you would have when he revealed his relationship to the public.

"i know you do, baby. i know you do and i'm...god, i'm sorry─i want to be a real thing, too." seokmin's voice is pained, and he tucks your hair behind your ear, slender fingertips brushing your wet cheek and hot ear as he leans in.

even though the two of you were an official couple, the world around you didn't know it yet. there were rumors, sure, but nothing was confirmed yet. even the other band members had their suspicions, but you two were careful enough to not fuel their fires.

you couldn't care whether you were fueling any fires or not anymore. you just wanted to scream to the world that lee seokmin was yours, and you were his. that's all you wanted.

"give me time, baby. i'm going to let them all know soon. no matter what happens when i reveal the news, we'll be together. no position in a band could ever change that. all i want is you. all i need─is you." seokmin's voice is soft, supporting his comforting words in an even stronger way.

you nod, face now in seokmin's hand as he pushes his soft lips to yours. the light lipstick rubs off on your lips slightly, and you sigh against his mouth, feeling all of your worries and apprehensions disappear.

seokmin is careful with you, treating you like a fragile vase as his hands slowly ghost over your hips. his pace is steady, every kiss ensuring his promise to you.

all i want is you. all i need is you.

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swagyalastorwife · 1 day ago

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Vees + alastor + adam + lute as parents

Author notes :hiiiiii guyssss (^-^)/❤️I really enjoyed writing this I'm sorry if it's too short and if there are spelling mistakes I'm thinking of doing a part 2 with someone else so don't hesitate to give me some suggestions if you want something in particular , This comes from a request I put it at the end. ❤️

⚠️Warning⚠️ : drogue and sex mention in val's part ans that's it (^-^)

Vox📺

○ Your child will probably be the most spoiled child in all hell. he will have all the latest technologies from voxtech, all the toys he wants and of course as a child star, all hell will know him which will push vox to be a protective enough dad I think he imagines one day retiring and letting your child run the business so your child will get the best education possible. Vox will surely teach her how to manipulate people, and if your child is a girl she will be a "daddy's girl" kind of like Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter.

“My father will hear about it” or “I don’t think you know my father given the way you treat me” it's a very spoiled and capricious child like his dad but you should never doubt all the love that Vox has for your child, he loves you both and will be ready to die for you

In summary he wants the best for his child

7/10

Velvette💜

♧ Velvette she's not the type to have a child but if she had one I imagine her trying to pass on her passion for fashion to her child by taking him to fashion shows, helping him sew, making sketches.... her child will probably be a "bad bitch" like her mother elsewhere "I do what I want where I want and when I want" her child will probably become a great fashion designer

In summary she will be a very good mom

8/10

Valentino🦋

♡ Valentino Poor child, to be honest I don't wish anyone to live in an environment as unhealthy as the one in which Val's child will grow up, sex drugs and all that shit he will probably be an irresponsible father but at the same time he will be attentive and will try to do his best so that his child becomes someone as important as him and also "respected" in summary he is a bad father but i think he tried his best to become better

3.5/10

Alastor🦌

◇ He will be a loving and caring father he will do his best to make his child feel good and happy, if your child is a boy he will teach him to be a good gentleman just like him and if he has a daughter he will cherish her and protect her as best he can whatever happens, he loves his child more than anything and hopes that he will become as "powerful" as him In summary, he is a good father who wants the best for these children and will do everything for them.

9,5/10

Adam😇

♤ Even if he doesn't show it often, he loves his child more than anything in the world and will try to be the best father possible, even if he doesn't succeed all the time sometimes he can be very bad . He will teach him to fight and play the guitar and would definitely want his child to come to his rock concerts to see" how talented his father is "and how loved by everyone In summary he is a good father who tries to do his best but sometimes he makes mistakes

5/10

Lute🗡

● She would probably be a very severe mother who would like her child to become strong and powerful capable of "exterminating all demons", she could become mean but she will not do it for the injured but to help him give the best of himself, she loves her child more than anything in the world and she simply wants him to be able to fend for himself in summary she is a severe mother but who wants the best for her child

4/10

I hope you like it (^-^)/ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and if you want specifics fanfiction ideas tell me !!!

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mayonesamitch · 2 days ago

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An imperfect guide to a transgender haircut! (For the boys, or anyone who wants a masculine haircut)

So, if you're reading this, you probably want a haircut. Whether you're trans, non-binary, or cis, this is a guide for getting the perfect masculine haircut. I made this specifically for my trans/non-binary folks, but if you're a woman or even a cis man, you can use this guide too!

I'd also like to note that you don't need short hair to be anything, you can express yourself the way you want! As long as you're happy.

Step 1: Why You Want Your Haircut

You first need to figure out why you need your haircut. If you're trans, you probably want it to pass more or to elevate dysphoria. If so, you probably want to look for something that a cis man would have. If you look at men's hair closely, you can tell one common pattern, short on the sides, long on the top. Having these kinds of haircuts will definitely get you to pass more and get those gender euphoria points.

Now, let's say, you want something more androgynous. Like, a woman or man can have it, then you're probably looking for something like a short shag or an e-boy cut. These are typically longer but rarely go below the face. If you have more waving and voluminous hair, then these are perfect for you. Of course, if you want that androgynous look.

Step 2: Working with what you have

There are a lot of hair types in the world. There are also a lot of head shapes. So, try to pick a haircut that will do good things to your looks. You don't want a bad haircut. That will ruin your social life for a few months. Instead, think about what features you want to accentuate. For example, if you have a round head, maybe aim for a high fade so your head looks longer and sharper. If you have curly hair, try looking for something that will work with the curls.

You also want to note if you have any scalp or skin conditions. For example, if you have eczema, specifically on the scalp, then you're more prone to dandruff. Some people also just have a lot of dandruff, even if the wash their hair regularly. So if you are prone to that or anything similar then try to choose something shorter. It'll be a bit easier that way to deal with the dandruff that way. Also, if you really want to, you can get a buzz cut as well. I know that's the most optimal hair cut for stuff like that, but I don't know how willing most people will be able to do it. So, generally speaking, a shorter haircut will work better. (I'm not someone with excessive dandruff, so I'm not an expert when it comes to this information. I'm using information I researched.)

Step 3: Choosing how to do it.

So, you chose your haircut. Now, how are you gonna do it? Well, you have a few options. One, you can do it yourself. If you do it yourself, then you are taking a risk. Assuming you're not a professional, it could end up looking bad if you do it wrong. However, if you're scared of going to a barber or your parents don't allow you to go to barbers, then doing it yourself is optimal. If your parent/guardian is a barber then they can do it for you. Just show or tell them what you want and they'll hopefully do it for you. Both of these options are free (hopefully) and also allow you to avoid talking to other people you don't know.

Okay, so let's just say you want to go to a barber. Then you might just go to your regular old barber. However, I generally recommend going to a barber shop made specifically since that's where they're most experienced at. Also getting a male barber will get you someone who's more experienced with men cuts, so if you don't know what to get, you can ask them what you should get. If you get a female barber though, it should be about the same. Male barbers just know more about male hair. However, I'm sure a female barber will be able to help you the same. This option will have you talk to people you may or may not know, so keep that in mind. Also, it costs money. So, hopefully you can pay for that.

Step 4: Asking for the haircut

So, you have everything planned out. Now, it's just asking for it. If you're an adult, then you don't need to ask anyone. So this part is made for people who are still living under their parents roof, using their money for everything. If you're cutting it by yourself, then you don't really need to ask. I know some parents are chill about it. However, many are strict on a lot of things. So, if you're not a risky person, you might want to ask them first. Same if your parent is a barber.

If you're going to a barber shop, then it'll take a bit more to ask. First, you need permission, since your parent/guardian is paying for it. Then, you would have to choose the barber shop and basically everything I said in step 3. So, again, more talking involved, but it'll be worth it.

If they ask you why you want to go so short and masculine all of the sudden, you can either come out to them (if you're not cis), tell them why you want it (Assuming you don't want it for the gender aspect of it) or give them an excuse. (Again, if you're doing it for the gender aspect) I know many people don't live in supportive households, so saying an excuse might do. Something like, "My hair gets in the way." Or, "It's easier to manage." Will do. Prioritize your safety. If your parents are already suspecting that you're not cisgender and are not supportive of trans people and an excuse doesn't work, just don't do it. It'll be very hard to convince them. So, prioritize your safety. Don't risk it. It'll be very difficult, but just wait.

Common haircut terms you might be looking for

So, that's all the steps to getting a masculine haircut. So these are some terms that you might be looking for.

Low/Mid/High taper fade

Textured Fringe

Crew Cut

Short Shag

Wolfcut

Mullet

Quiff

Okay, so that's all! If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Again, even though I made this specifically for the trans men, anyone who's nonbinary, a woman, or a cis man can use this guide.